I have experienced one failed marriage and multiple failed relationships with men. I know I am perfect in God’s eyes but I am also human. So I am not saying that I did nothing to contribute to what I am about to share, but I know there are others out there that I trying to make sense of things which is why I am sharing my story, even if it helps just one I am grateful. Throughout all of y failed relationships I have learned a hard but what I fee is very true lesson. Most people spend decades searching for love when we don’t even really understand what love is. We as humans usually hook up with someone because of the physical attraction we first have and of course we give in to our fleshly desires. What starts out as a fleshly desire may turn in to true unconditional love or just an experience we must go through to learn a life lesson. Unfortunately, when it comes to love, or what I like to refer to as matters of the heart, if a relationship ends up to be just a lesson they are usually very painful. I am here to help those who may be going through the pain that I have gone through, to bring light to the darkness of that pain. If you are in a relationship and you are wrestling with whether or not this is the one but yet you find yourself not truly happy within. Then most likely it isn’t the one no matter how much you think you may love that. Most likely the person came in to your life to teach you how to love yourself more. True authentic love which I know most everyone is searching for will cause you no pain. If you are in a relationship that has a foundation of truth, authenticity, and unconditional love than there should come no pain with it, only peace, love, and happiness. I am not saying that the person you thought was the one has caused you pain on purpose, it just means that you both are not loving yourself first to the fullest extent God has called us to. If we all loved ourselves first to the fullest extent God has meant for us we would no longer cause anyone else that comes within our path any pain. We cause each other pain when we are not experiencing the highest self love for ourselves (God’s Love, Agape Love) because we seek for that love outside of ourselves. This is why we have so many failed marriages and relationships among us today because of infidelity, jealousy, mind games, and the list goes on. When we are seeking for this love outside of God (within ourselves) we seek attention from others and from anywhere or in whatever way we can get it. And if that person that we are in a relationship with at the moment is not in front of us or unavailable for that moment when we are seeking the wrong type of love we open the doors for pain to flow in. Everyone wants to feel important, appreciated, and loved but until we realize we can only get the type of love we are seeking from within ourselves (God) we will continually unknowingly and unnecessarily cause people pain. So I ask of us to stop hurting each other, life is hard enough. Stop causing pain, if you know and recognize you are always searching for love, attention, affection etc from outside of yourself do not be involved in a relationship with another human being. You will most definitely end up causing some type of pain whether its unintentional or not. Be by yourself, learn and grow through God’s love. Once you have learned how to love yourself first I can guarantee the next relationship you come across will be your perfect match and you will experience a love that surpasses all understanding! You may experience some ups and downs with that person because that’s life. But the difference will be instead of your love for each other causing pain, your love will cause each other growth and healing. When we begin to form bonds like that with each other we will change the world simply with our love!